Monday, March 1, 2010


I've been absent. Yeah, I know...but I have a lot on my plate these days. I've wanted to write about what was happening here, really I have, but I just didn't know where to begin.

I want to make one thing clear before I start purpose in sharing our struggles is to give other moms dealing with Autism some shred of hope. Okay?

In January, Rylee's behaviour took a turn for the worse! She was defiant beyond words...screaming her dislike for everything and everyone. She would tell me several times a day that she didn't want to be part of this family and certainly didn't want me to be her mom. She did NOT want to be a girl anymore either. Her tantrums, several times a day, were outrageous and out of control. And before you say, oh all kids go through a few tantrums in their day....uh yeah, witness an Autistic kid's tantrum first hand and then we'll talk! The best way to describe her is primal. In that moment, she is all animal, non-thinking, just reacting! And mean!! She would just strike out at anyone who got in her way. J would try to hug or kiss her to make her feel better and Ry would just kick, push or scratch back! We were beginning to fear for J's was getting that bad!

By the third week in January, we were in desperation mode....a family in crisis - sleep deprived, upset, hurt. It was time for medication. I called the Paediatrician for help! Her assistant told me that because we hadn't seen the Dr. for 18 months, we'd have to go through our regular Dr. to get another referral...that would take weeks...and frankly, we didn't have weeks! We just couldn't go on like this! I'm afraid I lost it completely on the phone...I was crying and desperate. She took pity on me and scheduled an appt. Finally, some hope.

Well, the appt didn't go as planned. LOL Instead of drugs, the Dr. instructed us to give Ry Melatonin to help her sleep. She also felt that if we gave her a daily laxative, it would alleviate some of her problems. She set another appt for 4 weeks out but I could call at any time if I felt we needed to. I gotta tell you, I was not exactly on board with this so-called solution. We had tried Melatonin before and it just didn't work for her.

Well, wouldn't yah know it...the melatonin did work this time! Yeehaw! And we actually got her moved into her own room to sleep. Baby steps. Her sleep habits improved but her meanness was still in full force. I had to schedule another appt. This time, Ry stayed home so I could really talk with the Dr. She agreed that Rylee had some other issues and was quite the complex little girl. Yes, she had Autism, but she was very high on the ADHD scale. Then there was the whole abandoned/mentally abused part of her past that was always just under the surface. I cried during this appt....sad for us as a family and definitely sad for this 6 year old little girl who was born on the other side of the world, abandoned and left to languish in an orphanage. She would spend endless hours alone in her crib, sick and crying.....but no one came to help. The Dr. said she will probably never get over that!! And I cry some more..... Then she told me something that I will carry with me the rest of my days....she said that I might not be able to mother her and that Rylee needed me to be her therapist first and foremost!

Well, we talked about all of the options in medications that might help her....and all of the side-effects!! Just wild! We agreed on a small dose of Resperidone but first we'd need to do some blood work. So, off I went with a prescription for a powerful drug that should lessen Ry's aggression, a request for blood tests at the lab, and a prescription for Ativan to help Rylee get through the bloodwork. That was Tuesday Feb 9.

On Wednesday February 10, we witnessed a miracle! Big Daddy and I took Ry in for her bloodwork - yes all jacked up on Ativan - and she did great!! She was a totally different little girl for the rest of the day. Just after supper, she was still feeling the effects of that pill, which she shouldn't have. I found her at the top of the stairs dancing with her coat....she was hallucinating and singing to her "partner". It was a little scary. I coaxed her into her pj's in between bouts of falling to the floor in a heap, crying and babbling incoherently. She crawled into her bed by 6:30 and the mean and aggressive Rylee never came back!!

We're still not 100% sure what happened. We have a few theories that I'll share with you later, but in the meantime, our old Ry is back!!! She is happy, healthy and in no need of Resperidone.


  1. Amazing transformation. You have really been through a lot these past two months. So glad that something worked and you have your daughter back. You are great parents!

  2. What a rollar coaster ride. I'm glad to hear you are making it through. big hug!

  3. Good luck, and God Bless.

    Thanks for the post.

    See Ya

  4. My friend...all I can say is that my prayers and good wishes are with you and your family! If you need to talk to someone, let me know and I'll send you my telephone mumber!

    Wishing you all the best!

  5. 2 Tramps: Thanks so much for coming by today! I really appreciate the compliment!

    Hey P! Yup like riding the thunderbolt! Yeehaw! LOL Making it through - not totally unscathed, but making it!

    Hey Tony! Thanks for dropping in. The support is great!

    Awwwww Jim! I really do appreciate your concern, my friend! I may take you up on that offer one day. Thanks for your support!

  6. Good to see you again Cath. It was a big responsibity you guys took on and that makes you great people right from the start. And you continue to be great people. I really hope things keep getting better for you guys all the time.

  7. Hiya Mark! Awwww, thanks Bud! Very kind words, indeed! You'd make for a great brother-in-law. Did I ever tell you about my single Albertan sister?!?!? Hmmmmm???? LOL

  8. Ah Cathy, sorry to hear that you have been having such a rough go of things...but the other posters are are doing a great job with both of the girls..

    and thank you for putting things into prospective for me...I am going through some things with Lili right now..lashing out at me when she is mad at everyone else...I forget sometimes its not just about me..

    glad to read things are getting better..

  9. Hey there Janice!!! Ahhhh, those Kunming Kuties! LOL
    As for perspective...yeah, I shouldn't be whining either!! There are parents out there dealing with much bigger issues than this...but sometimes I just need to vent!

  10. Oh please dont think that I thought that you were whining in the least...I have great respect for you....

    I just meant that I forget that Lili has those issues too and sometimes just take it as personal jabs as opposed to her own stuff and I appreciated your post because it reminded me of that ....please vent away...believe me I do.. :)

  11. I know you weren't thinking that I was whining!!
    You're funny!
    As for the Kunming experience....I sometimes wonder what other "issues" may arise in the future...know what I mean?
    But we will love them through it all, won't we?!
    I don't remember reading any of this in the Children's Bridge binder! hahahahahaha