Tuesday, September 15, 2009

NO FAIL POTATOES

With my one year of gardening experience, I've come up with this no-fail method. I'm serious...if you want to grow the tastiest taters then you must follow my instructions...to the letter! Okay, ready?

First, you start with a plot of land that hasn't grown anything but weeds and small trees for 90 years.

It's important that you plant during full bug season....wearing the latest in gardening couture.

Have it snow as soon as everything is in the ground.
Now don't skip this step....don't, whatever you do, finish putting up the fence. You need the local bears, deer and moose to tromp all over your freshly planted garden. Very important!


Check on your garden at least 3 times over the growing season.
Complain about the bloody weeds and small trees invading the garden.
Swear you'll NEVER attempt to garden again.
Don't fertilize.
Water it twice. This is crucial.
Wait 3 1/2 months.
And voila....dig up 35 pounds of the little beggars....all the while dreaming about next year's crop.
Proclaim to your husband, that you are the greatest farmer ever!!!
Add some olive oil, kosher salt and garlic - bake at 400 for 30 minutes.

Serve with a side of peameal bacon. Yes, the taters are the main component to the meal when they smell and taste this good!!!!!!!!


If you follow my method...you too can be a farmer! hahahaha

10 comments:

  1. Now that's my kind of farming. I'll have to give it a try next spring. I did'nt realize it was so easy. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm a lousey farmer. Can I just shoot the deer, trade some of it for thr taters?

    Good looking crop.

    See Ya

    ReplyDelete
  3. Looks good enough to eat to me...! What time is dinner?

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL...just goes to show you that potatoes are the winner in this one.
    Now I am heading off to cook a potato!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice crop! Sure do hope we find some potatoes as nice as yours when we dig ours up.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Mark! If nothing else...put some potatoes in the ground. You can't go wrong!
    Thanks for stopping by.


    Hey Tony! I'm a lousy shot...so I better learn to grow things! lol
    Good to see you again.


    Hey there Uncle Jim! Ohhhh they were good!! It's the smell that I can't get over...just that little bit of CLEAN DIRT smell...yummy!!
    I appreciate you coming over today!


    Hi Diane! Man, if I'd known they'd grow that well without my assistance, I'd have planted a ton of them. lol Well there's next year!!
    Thanks for stopping in.


    Hi 2 Tramps! Oh I don't know about your crop...you probably watered and tended to them. Could be trouble! lol
    I appreciate the visit today!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm still laughing! No wonder my potato's didn't make it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey there SciFiChick! Nooooooo, tell me you didn't water them!?! Big mistake! Big, big mistake!! lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. I always wondered what I was doing wrong! Thanks for the info!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow, looks like a fine meal. And yup, you've learned the secret to great gardening. The LESS you do, the BETTER stuff turns out. My problem is HEEDING that advice. Glad you got lots of taters.

    ReplyDelete